Friday, 5 June 2015

The Great Trick by Elise


One sunny Sunday in the great Pacific Ocean, Ally the seal and Robbie the penguin were swimming to find food. Ally's smart and kind, Robbie's also smart and he's super tricky. Then each saw a glimpse of each other.

Robbie swam closer, Ally swam closer. She was to hungry to be kind to let him live. Me and Robbie's other friends were too far away to save him he thought. Wait we wouldn't even get to say goodbye he realised!! He couldn't go a day without saying goodbye to someone! Even if there was no reason to!

Ally swam closer, closer! Soon me and Robbie's family came in hidden. We had a bag full of fish meat for her to eat instead of Robbie. Wait how would we give the meat to her? Never mind his mum would come up with something she came up with this plan!

His mum had to come up with something soon because she was about to slam those giant jaws! I know! I can push Robbie out of the way! Crash! Splash!! I pushed him out of the way in the knick of time! I saved him kinda, sorta.

His mum shouted " wait before you gobble him up which hopefully you won't we were hoping you would eat these penguins instead!!" Ally asked "are they male?" "Oh of course" shouted his mum. So Ally took a bite then she suddenly shouted "delicious!" Then they all lived happily ever after.
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11 comments:

  1. Unknown6/05/2015 4:43 pm

    Wow Elise, what a great story! You have done well to publish this on your own and you have done fantastic paragraphing to give your story a clear structure! Ka Pai!

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  2. Anonymous6/06/2015 7:17 am

    Wow Elise your story is so cool.From kyla

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  3. Anonymous6/06/2015 11:56 am

    WOW Elise I loved your story!!! it was AMAZING!!!! from Joshua.

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  4. Anonymous6/08/2015 10:16 am

    What a super story Elise. You are using a range of writing features in your stories that make them really interesting. Great to see you using alliteration, choosing awesome adjectives and creating suspense and excitement. I had to keep reading to find out what happened next! Well done with setting it out into paragraphs too.
    Tino pai to mahi! From Mrs Perry :) 👍🏽

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  5. Daniel und Annette mit Emily, Felix und Luisa6/08/2015 4:50 pm

    I love your story Elise.
    From Emily

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  6. Anonymous6/10/2015 10:45 pm

    I love your story Elise!! I loved the way you added 'I saved him kinda, sorta' What a great way to add personal voice and a bit of humour at the same time. You should be very proud of the effort you have put into writing such a great story. Miss Smith

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  7. Anonymous6/14/2015 5:14 pm

    Yuck! Who in the world would want to eat a penguin? Sounds pretty discusting to me. From Alex.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/29/2015 8:41 pm

      I know Alex yuck who wants to eat a peinguin.
      From Ella

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  8. Anonymous6/15/2015 6:44 pm

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments and Alex a seal a seal would eat a penguin its nature. From Elise

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  9. Unknown6/26/2015 7:09 pm

    Hey Elise what you make up of the idei the great trick

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  10. Anonymous6/28/2015 7:14 pm

    Lucky penguin Fabulus story Elise. From Tihei

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